Sunday, November 23, 2003

The Immigrant Nightmare


I still have a repetitive nightmare sometimes about myself being in Iran -a very scary Iran, the way it was in 1981-88. In the nightmare I can not understand how I got back to Iran and how I can leave it again. Sometimes I find myself in military service again, trying to convince people that I have finished the service years ago, ... telling them about my life in the US and trying to find out how I ended up being in Iran again.
Years ago, I read the book “Az Sabaa taa Nimaa,” a review of Iranian literature of the 19th and early 20th century. In the book there was a chapter about a Qajar prince (Farhad Mirza, I think) and his style of writing. As a sample of his work the book has printed some of his correspondence. It is ironic that in one of the letters you could see him talking about his nightmare about Iran when he was in Europe, a nightmare very similar to mine.
The letter was written more than 120 years ago. It shows that not only has the country not changed much but even the style of Iranian immigrants’ nightmares has remained untouched.

Illustration: La Reproduction Interdite by Rene Magritte. 1937.

Sunday, November 16, 2003


I just read my post at Friday November 14, ...
Wow! I was drunk!
I can smell alcohol just by reading it.

My Cultural Life in Iran

Today I sent an e-mail to a friend saying " cultural life has stopped from the time I left Iran." She thought that is a funny statement. "It is almost a statement that is in praise of life in Iran!"

That is a statement in praise of the cultural life in Iran: Intellectuals there were more genuine about what they were doing, everybody was so eager to know more about every thing, and thoughts were mostly coming from the hearts rather than magazines and fashions.

I don't know. My memory is fading out the reality of my life. So I might be right, or I might be just glorifying a past, because that past is gradually leaving my brain.

Friday, November 14, 2003

BWV 1027

It is 8:43 and I am drunk. I am listening to the third movement of Bach's Sonata in G major (BWV 1027) and I want to tell you all that you should be ashamed of yourself as human beings. Bach has said whatever you should hear 320 years ago and you still don't listen.
You stupid humans,... trees and walls can understand the world better than you.